Labour’s denial of why they lost the 2015 General Election is symptomatic of a chronic mental condition called “idiopathic socialist ideology”. It seems that its sufferers have such an overwhelming delusion that their beliefs, logic and thought processes are right (and that everybody else is wrong) that they fail to detect, interpret and internalise opposing points of view.
Involuntary motor-neurone symptoms include inappropriately enthusiastic clapping on Question Time every time a left wing politician so much as farts and knee jerk reactions to perceived social and economic inequality. In extreme cases small groups of those afflicted can be seen shuffling along public streets holding placards and robotically shouting inane slogans. Sufferers can also have paranoid delusions that the media is deliberately disseminating toxic opposing views and that non-sufferers are particularly stupid for believing them. Their delusions are further manifested by a ludicrous belief that they are the only ones immune to the media’s propaganda because they are intellectually and morally superior.
This condition further exhibits itself with impaired social interaction whereby its sufferers speak very loudly to people expressing contrary opinion (often even shouting) and hurling Tourette-like ad hominem insults in debates, on social media and in the press. Sometimes they are even deliberately offensive to people who don’t share their delusions. This aggressive and anti-social behaviour is very cathartic for the sufferers but unfortunately it creates a downward spiral in their symptoms, as they are subsequently further angered when they inevitably fail to change the opinions of the people around them. Sufferers are further deluded by thinking that this behaviour enhances their self-image as a virtuous individual.
Currently there is no cure for this serious mental condition. Fortunately, however, it is self-limiting. The recommended treatment is a repeat subscription to The Guardian and to quarantine the sufferers into the Labour Party, where they will not interact with society at large. Consequently their symptoms can be contained by only interacting with a shrinking number of sufferers with similar delusions.